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Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Your letters:
Carson:
What's the most despised dish to hand wash? Tupperware has to up there, along with any mugs or cups that aren't dishwasher safe.
Im gonna go ahead and strike baby bottles from consideration here, because many of you do NOT have kids, and you dont need me griping endlessly about having to wash Dr. Browns bottles and about sports bottles and about all the other domestic booby traps that await you in the future. Im only gonna rank grownup dishes here, for your sake and for mine.
Tyler:
Which is the proper way to reference the Memorial Day holiday/weekend? Is it, Memorial Day weekend, or Memorial Weekend? Theres a furniture store that runs ad spots on the radio and they always reference their sale as The Memorial Weekend Sale. It drives me nuts. Ive always thought it should be the Memorial Day Weekend.
You are correct. Ive never heard it called Memorial Weekend, not even by alt-right troophumpers like Gobby the Iowa trucker who go out of their way to remind you of the blood sacrifice our men and womenand by extension theymade for your freedom. Its Memorial Day weekend. All the mattress sales tell me so.
Ian:
Which would be faster? An average schmuck throwing the hardest fastball he can, or Aroldis Chapman but he has to throw two baseballs, one with each hand, and at the same time? Chapman can take the faster of the two, but he's gotta actually try to throw both not just do his regular motion and kinda toss with the other hand.
Chapman still crushes the average schmuck. Ever go to a carnival and test out a radar gun? Every dudeand by "every dude" I mean mewho steps to the rubber for that game thinks hes gonna hit triple digits. Then the readout blinks 52 and that same dude (again, me) declares the gun broken and demands a refund. If youre a grown man and you can hit 70, youve got a certifiably live arm.
No matter. Chapmans fastest pitch clocked in at over 104. He can juggle faster than you can pitch. So if you forced him to throw righty at the exact same time, yeah it would fuck with his motion and what not. But he still has enough raw arm strength, particularly on his left, to get those balls smoking like they just re-entered Earths atmosphere. Its a sobering realization. Depressing, really. Aroldis Chapman is a shitbag. Why cant COOL people have all the bitchin throwing skills instead? Why does every farmboy bumper sticker enthusiast get those skills instead? It aint right.
Stephen:
My entire banana eating life, I have eaten them by peeling them from the top (where the stem is). Recently, I was informed that this was incorrect, and that the proper way to peel a banana is from the bottom. Apparently, this is how monkeys do it. This can't be true, right? Opening the banana from the bottom feels like the action of an insane person.
It is, indeed, true. I learned this little hack from a Funbag reader years and years ago and I still deploy it, especially when the ripeness of the banana is iffy. If you yank on the stem of a banana that isnt quite all the way ripe yet, you know what happens. The peel doesnt break open and you end up mushing the top of that nanner into a fine puree. That risk is eliminated when you just pinch the bottom. Watch this actual monkey peel it from the bottom using his teeth. Not only is that monkey efficient, hes also ADORABLE. Be more like the monkey. In fact, HIRE the monkey to peel the bananas for you. Its the path of least resistance.
Rob:
Would you eventually go insane if you could never again use a blanket? Sure you could get some soft PJs and turn up the heat, but I don't think that would be enough. I know the animals do it. But I think eventually you would go straight up nuts if you couldn't avail yourself to a cozy a blankie. Am I correct?
So NO covers of any sort? Just you and a mattress? I think it would suck for a while and then you would get used to it. Ever nap without covers? Thats pretty easy, right? I think you could adapt to sleeping at night in a similar fashion. It would be horrible at first, but then your physiological need to fall asleep would eventually beat out you need to have a fluffy comforter draped over your body, and then it would only get easier on successive nights.
Relatively speaking, blankets are an obscene comfort, because comfortat least in the modern, material sensewas something that mankind neither needed nor had until recently in its lifespan. (I remember the author Bill Bryson talking about this in his At Home book.) I am very much a creature of the 21st century. I need blankets and duvets and hoodies and recliners and fleecy robes to keep my body and mind happy. I have zero interest in going back to the days where people slept on cave floors and shit. Because I do have some experience with roughing it at night. I have slept in abandoned school buses. I have slept on the floor of an airport terminal. I have slept on the cold hard ground. I have slept on trains and in cars. I didnt like ANY of it and Ill never do it again if I dont have to. But I did manage to fall asleep, if fitfully, those times. My ancestors were able to sleep without accessories and somewhere deep within me is the ability to do likewise. Does that mean Im not as tough as they were? WHO GIVES A SHIT. All I know is I want my robe time.
Chris:
So this past weekend, I was over at a buddys house for a day of Indy and NASCAR. About midway through the day, their Labrador retriever was ripping ass with death blow ferocity. Now - I'm partially to blame for this after fueling him up on guacamole and chips, little smokies and other shitty things a dog will eat. This dog cleared the whole GD room ... TWICE! But what I found amusing is I was looking at this furry bag of shit and I swear to God he was smiling like he knew exactly what he was doing. So, Drewwhat do you think? Dogs know when they're crushing people up with farts? I say yes.
They know when theyre shitting somewhere theyre not supposed to. I have encountered spiteful dog turds in my home. Those shits were not shat by accident. Those shits were premeditated. So it stands to reason that a dog could also use its limited cunning to make your TV room into a giant Dutch oven. Thats what I WANT to believe. In reality, dogs are fucking stupid and probably just farting to fart. But Id much rather construct an elaborate series of motives and thoughts behind a dogs actions in order to deepen my relationship with it: a relationship that the dog may not even be aware is, like, a thing happening.
Also, dont table feed a dog, especially if its not YOUR dog. I dont table feed my dog because I dont want him barking for food every time I sit to fucking eat. So when other people assume they have free rein to feed loose chicken scraps him, I wanna throw them into traffic. Those farts you smelled? That was the smell of KARMA, sir.
Jerry:
Is it just me or did Rage Against The Machine get totally boned by being 20 years too early? They wrote catchy, ANGRY songs about racism and the evils of unchecked capitalism. They practicality predicted the last 10 years beat-for-beat. But it seems like they will eternally be associated with dudebros that want to scream "Fuck you" in public.
Those same dudebros would have co-opted Rage Against The Machine in all the exact same ways if they had come onto the scene today. Take it from a white guy: theres nothing you can createno song, movie, book, or even memethat we cant rudely claim as our own, no matter when you created it. Also, like I said last week, virtually every form of rock has been put into cultural dry dock for the rest of eternity, so its unlikely that RATM would blow up at all in 2020. They could only have existed when they existed, and the best artists are the ones who put out their shit well before the rest of the world is ready for it. If that band came out now, theyd just be dismissed as some thirsty guys trying to take advantage of the dreaded cancel culture (that phrase was invented and used exclusively by assholes who have been cancelled) or some shit. Better to leave them where they were. Also, I dont want to wait any longer for "Bulls on Parade" to be released than is necessary. I dont like RATM all that much but that song remains a total fucking rampage.
Bo:
When you hit it big and you can afford to fly private, do you, or do you pull an Al Gore and still fly commercial (or pretend to)?
Money gives you license to indulge your deepest hypocrisies, so hell yeah Id spring for a private plane if I had a billion dollars. Im a thoughtful guy but Im not stupid. I crave ULTIMATE LUXURY. One time I saw pictures of the Seychelles resort where Prince William and Kate Middleton honeymooned and I was like THOSE LIMEY FUCKERS. How dare those two lovebirds get to bask in absolute paradise while Im stuck in a warm and pleasant house with central air, efficient WiFi, and two cars in the driveway? Its a CRIME, I tell you.
For all my corny liberalism, I still BEG to be filthy rich. I wanna fly in private planes. I want membership at every country club. I wanna stay in the biggest rooms of only the nicest hotels. I want to have whatever the nicest Mercedes is. I want a vacation house (mansion) in Mustique. None of my nascent Bernie Broism has curbed those appetites. I want a utopian world where everyone has access to healthcare and a living wage, and I also want be a fucking billionaire in that utopia. I would buy a plane from the Emirates fleet to call my own. The flat beds. The caviar service. All that shit. Very safe, but also very prickish.
I would not fly in helicopters, though. Im not being flip about that. I lived through NASCAR legend Davey Allison dying in a helicopter crash, and now Ive lived through Kobe Bryant and his kid and seven other people meeting a similar fate. Ive ridden shotgun in a helicopter. It was fucking terrifying. In 2017, your odds of dying in a helicopter accident if you took a ride in one were a mere one in 500. Helicopter safety is a legitimate issue and, when all of the initial Kobe grief has been absorbed, I hope that the crash that killed him spurs SOME kind of action to make choppers safer or, in the interim, to figure out ways to dissuade or even outright prevent civilians from riding in them, no matter how practical they may be for a wealthy and eager father on the go. Kobes death, along with the deaths of his daughter, pilot, and co-passengers, was eminently preventable. Thats a big reason why it was so shitty.
Mike:
According to my three minutes of internet research, there are three FBS football teams within a three-hour drive of New York City: Rutgers, Army, and UConn. None of those teams are very good. Since NYC is a large, underserved college football market, would there ever be a motivation for some really rich guy to establish a new college with the sole, unspoken intention of making a profit off of the football program? You buy 100 acres somewhere in the swamps of Jersey, hire a faculty, get the school accredited, then use discount tuition to get the enrollment where it needs to be for FBS (say...4,700, like Tulsa).
Theres no motivation to ever do that. If youre ass rich, you can already buy off a current college football program and sort out ways to profit off your black market investment. Thats how much every Power Five school operates right now, especially the haughty ones like Notre Dame that like to pretend theyre above all that shit. Why try to make that happen in New York, where youd have to compete with two NFL teams plus infinite other entertainment options? Theres a reason Rutgers has never amounted to fuck all, no matter how much money they pour into that godforsaken program. Youre not gonna have any better luck with, like, Fordham Two. Much better to set up shop in someplace like Tuscaloosa where college football is the only thing anyone cares about.
I lived in New York for six years and it is very much a college football wasteland. That city thinks of itself as too big and important to concern itself with such provincial sporting concerns. You can go to counterfeit "barbecue" places like Brother Jimmys to swill bad punch from mason jars and pretend youre still a diehard Virginia Tech fan, or you can go to an apartment with a scattering of Big Ten alumni who labor under the continuing delusion that their conference plays interesting football. But, in general, New York doesnt have the fans, the isolation, or the terroir to support some instant State U dreamed up by Carl Icahn. College football is big where its big for very specific reasons, and small where its small for equally specific reasons. Besides, theres no place to tailgate in Manhattan.
Chris:
Is there anything more infuriating than reheating some tasty leftovers, then discovering that they cook at vastly different rates? I made some damn good chicken, with greens and plantains yesterday and popped them in the microwave for lunch today for a couple of minutes. The greens and plantains were steaming hot -- too hot to put in my mouth -- but the chicken was cold. I had to put it back in for another minute or so to get the chicken to a safe temp, but this took the side dishes to fucking nuclear temps. I'm not gonna sit here and microwave all three separately and combine them into one plate. If I wanted to cook a whole damn meal again, I would have done so. Is there anything that can be done about this?
Are you at an office doing this? Im at home all day, so I can deal with staggered microwave times by putting the longest cooking part of the meal on the plate first, then adding the other shit to it as needed while its nuking. But thats a luxury you probably cant afford if youre at an office or somewhere else away from your own fridge. All I can offer you are a couple of ideas Ive stumbled upon during the course of my long and productive microwaving career.
First off, dont nuke everything on high. Use the REHEAT button if your microwave has one. Mine does not display a time countdown when I press it, which traps me inside a living purgatory wherein I must endure the strangely endless agony of watching food turn in a microwave while also not knowing precisely HOW long itll be stuck in there. But the lower the power setting, the more evenly the food will heat. Also, put a damp paper towel over the whole plate. Thatll act as a loose cover for the dish as it cooks, AND itll prevent the kind of explosive spattering that ends up painting the walls and ceiling inside the oven. Ever hear a piece of chicken explode while its microwaving? Its not a comfort.
John:
Top to bottom, which profession has bigger assholes, coaches or chefs?
Chefs. Ive played football. Ive worked in restaurants. Chefs are bigger assholes by a distressingly wide margin. I graded my chef bosses not by whether or not they were assholes, but whether or not they were LIKABLE assholes. That was best card I could draw from that lot.
Im sure things have changed in the more visible corners of the hospitality industry since my days as a table runner. But rampant chef worship has only gotten worse since then, which means that somewhere, in some halfway decent gastropub no one is paying close attention to, theres a raging prick who graduated from the Sorbonne tasing his own staff when they fail to garnish his celery root bisque properly.
Sarah:
Im at an airport and they keep announcing that all terminals are designated smoke free areas and they make the same announcement on the planes. How much longer do we need to announce this? Does anyone actually think you can smoke on a plane? At some point this has to become a given.
Its a given, yes. But they have to announce it by law, same as your doctors offices automated menu telling you to hang up and call 911 if your kidneys are falling out of your body. Its rote and forgettable at this point, but youve met smokers. If you give a smoker ANY opening to light up, theyll seize on like they just found the Hope Diamond sitting in the gutter. Also, vaping is huge now and vapers are even more liable to bend the rules because, compared to cigarette smoke, a cloud of vape has far less odor and dissipates quickly. Theyll vape on a plane. They dont give a shit.
I have weed carts at home and I do the whole vaper sleight of hand thing everyone does, where I conceal the pen in my hand and sneak in a couple hits while Im walking the dog. Its as close to engaging in modern espionage tactics as Ill ever get. Every vaper thinks theyre tricky like that, no matter where they happen to be. And that is why the safety video for Virgin America will have to remain 57 minutes long indefinitely.
Robert:
As someone who is graduating this May, what life advice do you have to offer? Everyone is simultaneously trying to figure different shit out all at the same time, and so far, its a massive guessing game. I have a trip to Europe planned and I am also waiting to hear back from a few companies. The fact that everything is so open/undefined is a bit worrying, but also slightly exciting. Should I go to Europe and never come back? (jk but not really, but possibly?)
Yeah, fuck it! GO. Get the hell away from this shithole backwater of a country while its power grid is still functioning. Other countries have beer too, you know.
Honestly, it seems like youre in a good spot already, what with fancy trips and potential job offers looming. You also happen to be in the best possible position anyone can be in if any of that shit goes awry. Go ahead and ENJOY the open-endedness of your present situation. Because once you get a job and maybe start a family, those open ends seal shut for a long, long time. Youll have responsibilities and those responsibilities are worthwhile, but they also prevent you from fucking off to tend bar at a ski resort for a year if you feel called to it. Like, if I elected to do that right now, my wife and kids would have a few questions for me. Itd be a whole THING. Waste time while you can. You wont always be able to afford to.
Tom:
I was recently at a movie theatre when a tornado warning hit the area. The staff sequestered everyone in the theatre in the designated shelter areas--the bathrooms. I was crammed into the men's room with 20ish other people of all genders. The social contract at this point is that no one is using the bathroom for its designated purpose now, right? Well, this one guy comes walking through the crowd, makes eye contact with people, closes himself in a stall, and proceeds to take a very colorful shit. After he finishes, he lets himself out, makes more eye contact with people, and heads out into the hallway without washing his hands. I guess my question is, what did you think of the Aladdin remake?
I bet it wasnt as good as watching that guy drop a deuce like a true baller.
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The Worst Dishes to Wash, Ranked - VICE
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Vimal Kumar remembers school days not by the subjects that were taught in class, but what his mother was doing at the time. As the day progressed, Kumar would watch from the class window as she swept the school grounds, the classrooms, and lifted night soil from the toilets. After school, when others ran home, he would stay back to lend her a hand. Even 30 years later, the taunt of jamadarni ka beta hurts.Kumars family lived in Valmiki basti in Haryanas Ladwa town in Kurukshetra district, 150 km from Delhi, where no one went to school except for Kumar. The men worked at the grain stores in the mandi (wholesale market) and the women would clean the school and homes of the upper castes. As children we had to help out, Kumar recalls. Swallowing his hatred for school was a little more bearable than the thought of lifting dirt. So Kumar chose to study even as he spent afternoons helping his parents. It was not easy going though. He recalls failing class 7 and 8 twice. The teacher called my father and insulted him. It hurt my pride so much that I decided after that I would take my academics seriously. I would not give them another chance to laugh at my father, says Kumar, who is currently based in Washington DC as part of an leadership program at McCain Institute.
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They've gone from cleaning drains to earning doctorates - Times of India
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Stay away from acids and chemicals that can burn your skin and damage your tissues!
When we buy commercial cleaning products, we expect them to do one thing: clean.
But what about the toxic ingredients in them that are poisonous if ingested, harmful if inhaled or touched, and can also contribute to indoor air pollution?
1. Hydrochloric acid (HCl)
Did you know that every commercial toilet cleaner in India contains about 10 per cent HCl?
Also known as muriatic acid, Hydrochloric acid (HCl) has a corrosive effect on human tissues and can cause irreversible contact damage to the skin, eyes, lungs and other internal organs upon contact.
2. Sodium lauryl ether sulfate (or Sodium Laureth Sulfate, SLES)
With properties similar to soap, SLES is used to clean stubborn stains in the bathroomthe acid is known to reduce the surface tension of water. However, SLES is a known irritant, that much like HCl, can cause damage to eyes and the skin. It is advised to wear protective wear if you are handling the synthetic acid in a concentrated form.
3. Cetrimonium chloride (CTAC)
Another example of a chemical widely used in our toilet cleaners, Cetrimonium chloride or Cetyl trimethyl ammonium chloride can also irritate skin and eyes. Extremely dangerous if swallowed, it is recommended that you remove your contact lenses and consult your physician immediately if even a couple of droplets come in contact.
4. Sodium hydroxide (NaOH)
Sodium hydroxide is a highly corrosive acid that can cause serious burns to your body. One should always keep a safe distance from the acid and wear protective gear while handling it for NaOH is known to decompose proteins and lipids in our body tissues.
If it comes in contact with eyes, sodium chloride has the potential to blind you! And although used in trace quantities, toilet cleaners are a surefire way of letting this hazardous chemical enter our homes.
5. Sodium Hypochlorite (bleach)
The bleach comes with a clear warning to keep away from eyes, ears and nose. Of course, you wont use sodium hypochlorite directly, but as an ingredient in your toilet cleaner, it still has the potential to severely irritate your skin and eyes. In such a case, it is best to rush to your physician and seek expert guidance.
You may flush out the liquid, but the traces of acid remain on the seat even after. Plus, the toxic chemicals go down the gutter and in the lakes, rivers or sea near you and pollute the water bodies, posing as a threat to the ecosystem there.
Thankfully, reliable, planet-friendly cleaners are now just a click away. Your laundry, dishwashing, floor and toilet cleaning is all set to get safe. Follow this link to know how.
You may also like: Heres Whats Killing Your Favourite Clothes! (And How to Stop That!)
(Edited by Gayatri Mishra)
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5 Harmful Chemicals in Your Toilet Cleaner That You Must Be Very Afraid Of - The Better India
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A traditional four-year college degree is not the only route to a high-paying career.
You dont need a four-year degree to score these jobs.
A traditional four-year college degree is not the only route to a high-paying career. Among the U.S. News list of the 100 Best Jobs, these 25 offered the highest pay without requiring a degree. An important note: Most of these jobs do require some form of postsecondary training, be it on-the-job experience, coursework at a technical college or other credentialing and licensure. Data comes from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Solar Photovoltaic Installer
Median Salary: $42,680Expected Job Growth by 2028: 63.6%
These clean-energy experts build, install and repair solar panels on buildings. Many installers take courses at community colleges, technical schools or as part of an apprenticeship program, although a high school diploma is typically the only educational requirement to get started in this career. Some companies will offer on-the-job training.
Its a job that is mostly conducted outside. If youre working inside, you may be in an attic or crawl space, connecting panels to the electric grid. You also will have to do some traveling, locally and regionally, since youll always go to the customer, rather than them coming to you.
Learn more about solar photovoltaic installers.
Auto Mechanic
Median Salary: $40,710Expected Job Growth by 2028: -1%
Auto mechanics, also called service technicians, inspect and fix cars and light trucks, focusing on engines, transmissions and braking and steering systems.
There may not be a lot of growth, currently, in the auto mechanic industry the -1% really means little to no change, according to the numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics but its still a profession that requires qualified, skilled people to work on cars. If working on engines is in your wheelhouse, you should be able to get a job.
You dont need a college degree, but most automotive service technicians and mechanics complete a program at a postsecondary institution, according to the BLS. Industry certification is often required after you get a job.
Learn more about auto mechanics.
Insulation Contractor
Median Salary: $41,910Expected Job Growth by 2028: 5.3%
Insulation contractors keep us dry during thunderstorms, warm in the winter and cool in the summer. In other words, their work protects us from the elements whether were at home or in an office building.
The work tends to be physically challenging, requiring bending in tight spaces, and its not for the claustrophobic. But its also a job that requires you to use your brain. These workers read blueprints, measure materials and install and replace insulation. They may need hazardous material training.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, most insulators, especially those who specialize in floor, ceiling and wall insulation, learn their trades on the job. Many mechanical insulators finish an apprentice program after they earn a high school diploma or an equivalency degree.
Learn more about insulation contractors.
Massage Therapist
Median Salary: $41,420Expected Job Growth by 2028: 22%
Using their bodies and various methods of touch, massage therapists relieve client pain and help people relax.
Why is this an in-demand career? Because were all getting older, and many health care providers are recognizing the benefits of massage. That said, you may not work in, say, a hospital or at a physicians office. Many massage therapists work at hotels, franchised health care clinics and fitness centers. Some are self-employed and visit clients homes or offices to give massages.
Its a job that often requires a postsecondary education program of 500 or more hours of study and experience, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, although what youre required to do for training is going to hinge upon your state or local jurisdictions requirements.
Learn more about massage therapists.
Cement Mason and Concrete Finisher
Median Salary: $44,810Expected Job Growth by 2028: 11%
Its easy to take a cement mason or concrete finishers work for granted. We see what they produce everywhere when we drive on roads or walk in the city. These workers use power tools to finish the surfaces of poured concrete used for sidewalks, roads, curbs and floors.
Most people in this profession have a high school diploma or an equivalent degree and learn through an apprenticeship program or through on-the-job training.
Its a physically demanding job since youll often be lifting heavy materials. You may be bending or kneeling a lot. But if you like exercise, you may love this job. Its also a career often spent outdoors.
Learn more about cement masons and concrete finishers.
Bus Driver
Median Salary: $34,450Expected Job Growth by 2028: 5%
Transit and intercity bus drivers carry passengers where they need to go, sometimes collecting tickets and helping with luggage. School bus drivers take children to and from school.
Being a bus driver isnt an easy job, but its an extremely important one. City administrators arent interested in putting just anybody behind the wheel, and so if you do your job well, youll likely have a lot of job security.
Youll probably be required to have a high school diploma, or something equivalent to that, and youll need to have a commercial drivers license, which you may be able to earn through on-the-job training. Youll also need to have a good driving record as well as meet the physical, hearing and vision requirements for the job. You may have to pass a background check as well; as noted, they dont let just anybody get behind the wheel.
Learn more about bus drivers.
Glazier
Median Salary: $43,550Expected Job Growth by 2028: 11%
These workers read blueprints, remove old panes and cut and install glass for doors, windows, mirrors and display cases. If it involves glass in a building, a glazier is probably involved.
Its a physically taxing job, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. You may be climbing up ladders or on scaffolding, which means its a potentially dangerous job.
Youll probably be able to get this job with your high school diploma, though you can learn the trade through an apprenticeship, on-the-job training or a vocational program. Theres more to this job than you might think; you may need to know something about math and design and be able to work with construction equipment. As you might expect, the most demanding and best-paying jobs are often on high-rise buildings.
Learn more about glaziers.
Licensed Practical Nurse and Licensed Vocational Nurse
Median Salary: $46,240Expected Job Growth by 2028: 10.7%
In schools, nursing homes, clinics and hospitals, these nurses offer basic medical care.
Licensed practice nurses and licensed vocation nurses are basically the same jobs. In California and Texas, these positions are called LVNs; everywhere else, its an LPN.
If youre an LPN or LVN, youll be doing crucial, life-saving tasks such as checking vital signs, performing enemas, installing catheters, dressing wounds, delivering medicine, massaging muscles, assisting patients in maintaining their hygiene, helping with feeding (for infants to the elderly), starting IVs, monitoring medical equipment and so much more. Youre also helping adults and children, often when theyre at their most vulnerable. Its a very important job.
Learn more about licensed practical and licensed vocational nurses.
Carpenter
Median Salary: $46,590Expected Job Growth by 2028: 8%
Carpenters read directions and use tools to build, fix and install wooden frameworks. You typically dont need any more than a high school diploma to be a carpenter, but it will help if you know basic math to calculate floor space and wall heights, and more complex trigonometric formulas to make right angle cuts. They also use muscle and endurance to do their jobs well.
Carpenters are everywhere new and older homes and buildings are. They mostly construct and repair building frameworks and structures such as stairways and door frames.
Learn more about carpenters.
Real Estate Agent
Median Salary: $50,300Expected Job Growth by 2028: 7%
When homebuyers or renters are looking to buy, sell or rent a home, these professionals are available to help with the process. Training requirements vary by state, but all require licensure.
Technically, you can get by with no more than a high school diploma for this job but plenty of college graduates become real estate agents, and its a field where you use just about every skill you can imagine. Many real estate agents run their own businesses. You have to be a people person. You need to have a deep knowledge of the real estate market and the communities in your area. You have to know the ins and outs of buying, selling and renting properties. Theres a lot to this career.
You will need to get a real estate license, though specific requirements vary by state. Youll probably need to be at least 18 years old and complete real estate courses and pass a licensing exam.
Learn more about real estate agents.
Surgical Technologist
Median Salary: $47,300Expected Job Growth by 2028: 8.7%
Surgical technologists help doctors during stressful procedures in the operating room. They organize tools and disinfect incision sites.
It may sound simple, but these are people who are basically the surgeons right hand during operations. You might be suturing wounds, suctioning incisions and, of course, handing any tool to the doctor that he or she asks for.
Generally, to do this, youll need a postsecondary nondegree award or an associate degree. The BLS points out that getting certified might help your job prospects and that a small number of states regulate surgical technologists. As you would imagine, youll likely work in a hospital, if you take on this career, and youll spend a lot of time on your feet. And while the surgeon may get all of the glory, you will be helping to save lives.
Learn more about surgical technologists.
Equipment Operator
Median Salary: $46,990Expected Job Growth by 2028: 10%
On construction sites, equipment operators drive and control heavy machines such as bulldozers, trench excavators and pile drivers. If as a kid you were the one in the sandbox with a toy bulldozer, well, this job may be for you. Its a career in which you often do get dirty, working in all sorts of conditions, such as construction sites and in all kinds of weather.
You may also work a lot at night, if youre involved in building roads.
Youll likely need a high school diploma or equivalent education, and you may be able to learn how to operate equipment by taking vocational courses or through on-the-job training.
Learn more about equipment operators.
Sheet Metal Worker
Median Salary: $48,460Expected Job Growth by 2028: 8%
Sheet metal workers work with thin layers of metal to create and install ducts used in heating and cooling.
Its what some might call a good honest days work. Meaning, youll work hard, lifting heavy sheets of metal with a lot of physical activity involved. But by the end of the day, youll have made some indispensable products, such as having made and assembled heating or cooling equipment. Or you might make vent hoods for a stove or countertops for a commercial kitchen. You might make signs or automobile parts. If its made of metal, you may help make it.
You often learn this type of trade on the job or at technical school.
Learn more about sheet metal workers.
Choreographer
Median Salary: $47,800Expected Job Growth by 2028: -1%
Choreographers select movements and music to design new dances for performers.
The market for this career isnt expected to grow much throughout much of the 2020s, unfortunately, but according to the BLS, a -1% growth is little to no change. So at least the career field isnt shrinking, or shrinking much.
The good news is that if you get a job as a choreographer, youre probably going to be very happy.
After all, youre helping to put on a show, possibly a musical, presumably working hard, but doing something you love. But choreographers are needed elsewhere, too. Interest in dance and choreography is diversifying across other platforms such as television, theme parks and casinos. You might also land a job at a dance school.
As for schooling, choreographers may not have a college degree (although plenty do), but they do tend to have years of formal training and usually have a lot of experience as a dancer.
Learn more about choreographers.
Insurance Sales Agent
Median Salary: $50,600Expected Job Growth by 2026: 10%
These professionals are insurance know-it-alls who sell a range of policies, including auto, health, home and life insurance, as well as various commercial products. Youll want to be a person who enjoys being immersed in details; insurance often isnt an easy topic for a layman to understand.
Many insurance sales agents have a college degree, but you may not need one. Before becoming an insurance sales agent, youll have to get a license to sell insurance.
If you become an insurance sales agent, youll likely work in an office and spend time shuttling around to visit clients. You may have some irregular hours, if you need to meet clients in the evenings.
Learn more about insurance agents.
Brickmason and Blockmason
Median Salary: $50,950Expected Job Growth by 2028: 9.7%
These workers use bricks and other materials to construct or repair walls and various structures. Brickmasons and blockmasons may gain skills through on-the-job training, technical college programs and apprenticeships.
As with so many jobs, its harder than it may appear. Masons must be able to follow detailed building instructions, break or cut brick and stone to the proper sizes, mix and apply mortar and grout, assemble and finish the required structures.
Brickmasons do predominantly residential work, and blockmasons tend to do more commercial work.
If you work as a blockmason, doing commercial jobs, those tend to be longer projects as much as two years, possibly. Residential work is much shorter.
Learn more about brickmasons and blockmasons.
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25 highest paying jobs without a degree - WTOP
REVIA Hybrid Solar Roofing Tiles.
F-Wave LLC, a roofing provider founded by roofing industry veterans in search of a better shingle, is looking to innovate the solar roof in the same way. The Texas-based company is introducing its new REVIA Hybrid Solar Roof Tiles at the International Roofing Expo Feb. 4-6, and the company is making some bold claims about its performance. We have reached to learn more and will update this post when we do, [updates below] here is what we know so far.
F-Wave has developed its Hybrid tile to provide a cost-effective Net Zero Energy House. They are designed to install easily, eliminating the need for specialized labor and tools. F-Waves patented manufacturing processes and its proprietary blend of engineered polymers deliver durability and all-weather performance.
The REVIA Hybrid Solar Roof Tiles will harvest both photovoltaic and thermal energy. Because of that dual purpose, F-Wave says its Hybrid tiles are up to 40% efficient. The energy generated mirrors the energy demand of typical homes across the USA, which require one-third electrical and two-thirds thermal energy with the majority of the thermal energy consumed for hot water and space heating, the company notes.
UPDATE on that efficiency calculation from Kelsea Davis, marketing communications specialist for F-Wave: This number is the total efficiency of the Hybrid tile which includes both PV and thermal. The thermal component contributes over two thirds of the total efficiency for the Hybrid tile. The PV cells are F-Waves proprietary thin film flexible cells which were developed and are manufactured in F-Waves own facility in Japan. Although independent testing has already been undertaken, at this stage we are not releasing a specification sheet as both thermal and PV certifications are currently underway. Once certification is completed, we will release the full specification sheet.
UPDATE on manufacturing capacity:We do not have a supply constraint as we own the cell production facility in Japan. Our facility is able to currently produce sufficient output for the foreseeable future to supply thousands of homes in the U.S. and Japan which is also able to be ramped up as required.
The patented Hybrid Thermal system supplies heated air from between the roof surface and the roofing underlayment into F-Waves proprietary heat exchanger. The system includes both an air-to-water passive heat exchanger and an air-to-water heat pump providing the home with highly efficient hot water, space heating and cooling.
The PV part of the Hybrid photovoltaic system is F-Waves own lightweight, flexible, thin film silicon solar cells made of Flexible Double Junction Amorphous Silicon, suitable for south, east and west facing roof surfaces. F-Wave points to the cells superior temperature tolerance as a big key, so that the tiles maintain their efficiency during hot summer months.
UPDATE: One important feature of F-Waves PV is the kWhs produced per Watt installed. F-Waves cells have a very high specific yield, especially during hot summer months.
This system also significantly increases the homes total efficiency by reducing the thermal load from the sun. The thermal system achieves a Coefficient of Performance of up to 29 for space heating and 19 for passive water heating. Summer and winter modes operate automatically or can be easily adjusted by the home owner via a smart thermostat or its own iOS or Android App.
The electrical wiring and connectors are pre-mounted, color coded and polarity exclusive. F-Wave says this system enables the roofing contractor to complete the roof installation without the need for an electrical contractor on the roof.
F-Waves electrical system optimizes power output from both large and small roof surfaces by using one microinverter to control up to 30 tiles at less than 60 volts, which in turn makes the system intrinsically safe.
Complementary non-photovoltaic Hybrid tiles are also part of the system. These non-photovoltaic tiles can be easily cut to length or shape on site using a standard craft knife. All tiles can be either screwed or nailed to the decking.
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Details on a new solar roofing system debuting at the 2020 International Roofing Expo - Solar Builder
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Profits for the Planet – Eos -
January 31, 2020 by
Mr HomeBuilder
Green tech, cleantech, B certified.
As the climate changes, so do the words increasingly being used to describe start-ups and corporations that include change the world in their mission statements. This growing group of companies harnesses innovative technologies and scientific insight to perpetuate or pioneer cleaner agricultural practices, eco-friendly product design, optimized logistics, and other sustainable solutions.Challenging issues like soil health, food supply, and energy consumption are among those that are ripe for such reexamination.
Who better to join the effort than scientists-turned-entrepreneurs who can meet urgent environmental needs with enterprising efficiency, or small business purveyors whose values are expressed through their business practices?
We would rather do things the right way, even if theyre harder, said Janie Brooks Heuck, managing director of Brooks Winery, a certified B Corporation and member of the philanthropic alliance 1% for the Planet. Especially in the agriculture business, were all stripping resources from the land, and we need to do our part to give [them] back.
The start-up modelin which big, disruptive ideas are applied to technology and consumer productshas proven particularly appropriate for firms whose cutting-edge (and marketable) concepts are designed to make a positive impact on the planet.The word start-up once evoked the scrappy but capital-infused tech firms that brought the world intangible necessities like scrolling feeds and cloud-based instant messaging. However, the start-up modelin which big, disruptive ideas are applied to technology and consumer productshas proven particularly appropriate for firms whose cutting-edge (and marketable) concepts are designed to make a positive impact on the planet.
New Yorkbased start-up Dandelion Energy began as an idea conjured up at X, the self-described Moonshot Factory at Googles parent company, Alphabet.
The concept is a straightforward one: to bring cost-effective geothermal heating and cooling to homes that currently use high-emission fuel oil, propane, and natural gas. The challenge lies in quickly deploying the technology, which uses a heat pump and a system of underground pipes to circulate heat from the ground into the home and disperse heat back into the ground for cooling.
According to a report published in 2019 by the U.S. Department of Energy, there were approximately 2 million residential geothermal heat pumps in the United States in 2016. Analysis from the same report estimates that technology improvements and other factors could bring geothermal heating and cooling to 28 million homes.
Enter Dandelion. Using the technology it developed at X, the company has begun installing geothermal heat pumps in New Yorks Hudson Valley and Westchester County. Why start there? New York, says Dandelion head of marketing Ilyas Frenkel, has a high concentration of homes heated with fuel oil or propane. The states aggressive climate goals also make it geothermal-friendly, with programs that offer incentives for homeowners to install heat pump systems.
Theres a lot of demand for our technology and what were doing, Frenkel said, citing a 6- to 8-month waiting list to have the system installed at an up-front cost of $18,000$25,000.
Dandelion plans to expand elsewhere in the Northeast by the end of 2020. Meanwhile, the company stays connected with the communities it services, working with legislators and local outreach organizations like HeatSmart. In addition, although its at the forefront of an industry poised for economic growth, Dandelion maintains its environmental focus.
Our chief mission is to take fossil fuels out of the equation in heating and cooling peoples homes, Frenkel said. Everyone [who] works here believes in that.
Around the world, more than half a billion people are food insecure. Yet every year, a third of the food produced globallyabout 1.3 billion metric tonsgoes to waste. Some estimate the cost to be around $1.2 trillion, and the wasted food itself represents a significant source of greenhouse gas emissions. All signs point to a problem that needs solving, and two California start-ups have taken up the challenge by introducing scalable solutions that are firmly rooted in science.
San Francisco, Calif.based Treasure8 uses proprietary dehydration technologies to convert what would otherwise be wasted food into nutrient-dense products and ingredients for people and pets. Founder and co-CEO Timothy Childs, who previously used a systems-thinking approach for work with NASA, applied the same principles when considering food waste. He found that existing U.S. Department of Agriculture technologies could be used to sustainably produce food products at an accelerated commercial scale.
The beauty of our business model is that wherever there is waste, be it food, hemp, or other organic material, we can be impactful, Childs said. We can deploy our technology at the source to convert waste into nutritious food, ingredients, fuel, and even biochar to enrich the soil for future crops and preserve water.
Responding to the needs of multiple stakeholders, including Mother Nature, is complicated and requires ingenuity, agility, and a willingness to challenge the status quo.According to co-CEO Derk Hendriksen, being a for-profit entity allows Treasure8 to ensure that its solutions are sustainable not only socially and environmentally but also financially. The way we think about commerce is through the lens of the triple bottom line, he said. All stakeholders need to benefit from the business we create. This includes communities and the planet.
Still, the merging of purpose and profit isnt always effortless. Responding to the needs of multiple stakeholders, including Mother Nature, is complicated and requires ingenuity, agility, and a willingness to challenge the status quo, Childs said.
While Treasure8 is creating new food products through dehydration, down the coast, the Santa Barbarabased start-up Apeel Sciences is taking a different approach to food preservation. Founded in 2012 and backed by investors including the Bill & Melinda Gates and Rockefeller Foundations, the company has developed a plant-derived solution that prolongs the life span of fruits and vegetables by up to 3 times, tackling food waste where it occurs at farms, in the supply chain, and at the retail and consumer levels.
The safe, edible coating, applied to the outer layer of fruits and vegetables, postpones spoilage by keeping moisture in and oxygen out. Along the supply chain, this reduces the need for overpackaging, atmosphere-controlled storage, and other practices that contribute to food waste. The fruits and vegetables retain their freshness at the grocery store and in households, where wasted food, according to the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC), can cost the average American family of four $1,500 a year.
Its applications have other environmental benefits. According to Jessica Vieira, director of sustainability at Apeel, the coating can replace the plastic shrink-wrap often used on cucumbers and can help suppliers shift to less expensive logistical modes. For instance, asparagus from Peru is often airfreighted to U.S. and European markets, but Apeel-treated asparagus can last long enough for transport by shipat about a tenth of the cost and an eighth of the carbon footprint.
Beginning in 2007, companies striving to make a positive impact on their communities, their employees, and the environment have sought third-party certification through the nonprofit organization B Lab. There are currently more than 2,500 B Corporations worldwide, including well-known companies like Patagonia and Stonyfield and multinational corporations like Danone. They can be sole proprietorships, publicly traded companies, or nonprofits. Most are small businesses.
Everybody is tossing around words like natural and sustainable, and I like having that accountability and that transparency.Brooks Winery is one of those businesses. Situated in Oregons Willamette Valley, the company produces 20,000 cases of wine annually, and it does so using sustainable farming practices first championed by its late founder, Jimi Brooks, who began farming vineyards biodynamically in the early 2000s. Brooks Winerys commitment to social responsibility has since led the company to seek out and obtain B certification, along with certification in biodynamics and membership in 1% for the Planet.
According to Heuck, B certification serves as an indicator of how hard the company works to maintain its principles. Everybody is tossing around words like natural and sustainable, and I like having that accountability and that transparency, Heuck said.
Companies hoping to attain B certification must, among other requirements, submit to assessments of their environmental and social impacts, as well as their performance in areas like supply chain and charitable contributions. Certification even affects legal structure, and companies are given an overall impact score that measures how theyre doing.
For Heuck, the challenges of certification are worth it, as are the companys contributions to 1% for the Planet. It definitely is motivating for our team, she said. People want to do more than just have a job anymorethey really want to believe in where they work.
Through their innovative business models, products, and technologies, todays green companies are setting an example for other entrepreneurs entering the market for sustainable solutions.
In todays world, having a strong purpose is not only a strength but a requirement to navigate business and attract, retain, and guide qualified, motivated people, Treasure8s Hendriksen said. When we get it right, our people[are] motivated to give the best of themselves because of an alignment of their personal purpose with that of our company.
Korena Di Roma Howley ([emailprotected]), Science Writer
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Profits for the Planet - Eos
Sedona AZ (January 30, 2020) Authentus is now a Certified Sustainable Business at the Innovator/Silver level from the Sustainability Alliance.
Authentus Group is a brand strategy firm specializing in hospitality, travel, and tourism, with a focus on deepening peoples connection with wildlife and nature. Their international client base includes Busch Gardens, Oneida Indian Nations Turning Stone Resort, the Gathering Place park in Tulsa, several AZA-accredited zoos and aquariums, and locally, they help support Sedona Wolf Week.
Gail and Marc Helfer
Owners Gail and Marc Helfer moved their business to Sedona from Kansas City, MO, in the summer of 2019. According to Gail, a 30-year ad agency veteran and former Hallmark creative director, they wanted to certify their business because, Its the core of who we are, and wed like to connect with and help grow organizations that share our vision and values.
Authentus Groups team members are distributed around the country and are able to work remotely. In the Helfers case, their home is new with high-efficiency everything: appliances, heating and cooling, windows and insulation, plus on-demand hot water systems. In fact, their house is so efficient it made more sense to buy green power from APS rather than install solar panels.
The home has non-toxic interiors and cleaning products. Marc is adamant about low VOC, says Gail. As a home-based business, they dont use a lot of materials, and even share a car. In rare cases when they need to print, they use FSC-Certified paper.
Their commitment to a sustainable home extends outdoors, too. Marc was a certified backcountry trail guide in Yellowstone National Park who practiced Leave No Trace principles, and Im a certified Master Naturalist, Gail explains. We have only native plants for landscaping, do not water, and do not use fertilizers or have grass. Their former home in Kansas City was a Certified National Wildlife Habitat. Authentus is actively working to promote a pollinator partnership both locally and nationally to protect endangered Monarch butterflies.
Philanthropy is core to the Authentus mission, says Gail. Since we started in in 2007, we have donated many hours to conservation groups, including the Endangered Wolf Center, an organization founded by Marlin Perkins, host of Mutual of Omahas Wild Kingdom, which really influenced me as a child. We are one of their primary consultants, and their work is close to our hearts.
Many of the Authentus team members first collaborated as Hallmark creative executives, and have worked together for nearly 20 years. They make decisions and solve problems through a process of continuous conversation, peer support, and free-flowing communication. Unlike a lot of consulting firms, work-life balance is not only honored but enforced. They take a formal summer break for the team and do not contact clients after hours or on weekends. See who else is certified.
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Newly Certified Sustainable Business | Sedona.Biz - The Internet Voice of Sedona and The Verde Valley - Sedona.biz
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Diane Smith @DianeSmith_RC
ThursdayJan30,2020at2:53PMJan30,2020at10:59PM
RAVENNA One of Ravennas international companies is planning to expand.
The citys planning commission recently approved site plans for Saint-Gobain to add a storage building and a new truck lane at its property at 335 N. Diamond St.
Ted Manfrass, architect for Saint-Gobain, said plans were approved by the city panel in 2018, but the company delayed funding for the expansion, and has since changed its plans. Originally, the company wanted another storage building to house waste materials, such as paint, until they could be properly disposed of. But since then, the company has changed its procedures for having such materials hauled off its site, and that building is no longer needed.
However, Manfrass and Dale Sibert, facilities manager at the Ravenna plant, said the plant needs more storage for the items that it manufactures.
The Paris-based company designs, tests and manufactures a variety of products, including airline equipment.
Ravenna Mayor Frank Seman, who has toured the plant many times, said he has a hard time going between the companys buildings because of traffic, something that the truck lane will help address.
Sibert said there will be a retaining wall between the truck lane and the storage building.
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Saint-Gobain to expand in Ravenna - Business - Akron Beacon Journal
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BANGOR, Maine (WABI) - A Bangor woman convicted of stabbing two strangers in the Bangor Mall 5 years ago was back in court Wednesday.
Police say she was arrested earlier this week for throwing rocks at cars.
39-year-old Elizabeth Ellis is charged with criminal mischief and violating her probation.
She pleaded not guilty to both charges.
Officers were called to Hammond Street Monday for a report of a woman vandalizing cars.
They discovered two parked vehicles with damage and football-sized stones on the ground near them.
Police believe the rocks came from a nearby retaining wall.
In 2015, Ellis was sentenced to three years in prison for the stabbings at the mall.
She was also ordered to serve six years of probation.
She's being held on $250 and is expected to appear in court again in March.
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Bangor woman convicted of 2015 mall stabbings back in court - WABI
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Good morning, Loveland. The weather looks to contain both sunshine and snow over the next five days.
The National Weather Service is calling for a breezy Thursday with gusts as high as 22 mph and a slight chance of snow in the afternoon. The high will be 40 degrees, and the low 20 overnight.
Then, the sun will shine over the weekend with highs near 47 on Friday, 59 on Saturday and 61 on Super Bowl Sunday when the San Francisco 49ers square off against the Kansas City Chiefs.
Then on Monday, snow is likely with a nigh near 32 degrees.
The Thompson School District will vote on Feb. 5 whether to name the new school being built in Thompson River Ranch the recommended name of Riverview School. Do you like that name? Weigh in on the poll on our Facebook page.
The top clicks on our website over the last day include stories about a big tipper who found herself on the Kelly Clarkson show, a car that ended up in a precarious position balanced on a retaining wall and a Berthoud trustee who resigned in protest of a board decision.
Big-tipping Loveland diner and lucky servers to appear on The Kelly Clarkson Show
SUV runs off U.S. 287 Berthoud Bypass south of Loveland on Wednesday night
Berthoud trustee Pete Tomassi resigns in protest of Waggener rec center funding
Samantha Burgos, a student at Cottonwood Plains, is student of the week! Congratulations, Samantha.
Samantha is a ray of Sunshine, wrote Kelly Hoefle, technology facilitator at the school.From the janitor to her teachers to the secretary and fellow students, Samantha always has a ready smile or will ask how they are doing that day. And then she will listen to what they have to say. She is thoughtful and volunteers her time to help everyone. She senses when a classmate is upset or is struggling and always offers a kind, gentle hand to help. She sees the best in others when they cannot. Samanthas gentle, kind and positive attitude truly make a difference at Cottonwood.
To nominate a student of the week, send information and a snapshot to johnsonp@reporter-herald.com.
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Loveland Today: Samantha Burgos is student of the week; what do you think of the name Riverview? - Loveland Reporter-Herald
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