Ervolino: Slowly I paint, step by step – NorthJersey.com

Bill Ervolino(Photo: Anne-Marie Caruso/NorthJersey.com)

Last week I painted my stairs in my underwear.

White.

Any questions?

Yes. When you say white, are you referring to your underwear or your stairs?

Both.

You painted a staircase ... white?

Yes. Its an indoor staircase. And I wanted it to be white. Well, off-white. Actually, its called porcelain. But, its OKbecause I am getting a carpet runner installed. So there will be only about 3inches of white, un-carpeted steps on either side.

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And how long did this little project take?

About four months. But I pretty much finished it on Friday.

What took so long?

Well, there was a carpet on the steps previously. Not a runner. The whole staircase was carpeted. A thick blue thing. And it was horrible and about 30 years old. SoI had to pull off the old carpet, which took about an hour. Then I had to remove the staples that were holding the carpet down, which took about four months.

There were lot of staples in there?

Millions. Ive never seen so many staples.

How did you remove them?

I started with a little screwdriver. Id stick the screwdriver into the staple and then yankit out. It was kind of fun. And it made this loud noise like in that Three Stooges movie when Moe pulls out one of Curlys teeth with a pair of pliers.

Ouch.

That first night, I spent about two hours prying staples but it drove me crazy. After that, I just did it when I had a little spare time. Or, when I had company. Friends would stop by and say, What do you feel like doing tonight? And Id say, Why dont we remove staples? It was interesting, because youd rub the step with the palm of your hand to make sure you got all the staples out and there were always more. Someone told me they do this with rugs on staircases to really secure them. I dont know about that, but I think if an atom bomb had gone off in my house five months ago, the rug would have still been there.

And removing the staples really took four months?

No. I started and then left the stairs alone for a couple of months because I wasnt sure what I wanted to do next. At first I thought I would just paint the steps. I thought that would be a nice clean look. Butthen I heard my dog run up and down the stairs without the carpet and it sounded like a stampede of elephants.

Did you consider using stair treads?

I did. But Im not crazy about them. Plus I have a tendency to fall, so I thought a carpet runner would be a better bet.

You fall a lot? Do you have vertigo?

No, Im just a clumsy moron. People always say I go up and down stairs like a 10-year-old. Ive fallen here. Ive fallen in other countries. A few times, Ive even fallen going up the steps and bruised my knees. I hurtmy knee sometimes when Im painting, too.

In your underwear?

Yeah. I used to paint in my clothes. But Im kind of sloppy and Id get paint all over my jeans. So one day I just told myself, Why dont you paint in your underwear? And its fine, really. You can move around easily. And if you get paint on your underwear, who cares?

So did you do the painting last week because you finally got all the staples out?

No, I was still pulling them out as I was painting. The painting went well, though, because I had a plan. I mean, my bedroom, my bathroom and my computer are upstairs and my kitchen and living room are downstairs. So first I painted the left few inches of the stairs, then the right few inches, then the middle. So I always had a little path that was dry, in case I had to run upstairs, or downstairs, or wherever.

Are you putting the carpet down yourself, too?

No, I have a professional doing that. A few weeks ago, I went to the carpet store and picked out this grey carpeting I liked. Thenthe guy came over to measure the stairs and I changed my mind and asked for a tan color. He told me had to order it and would have it after the July 4holiday. I called on Friday to schedule the installation. He wasnt in, but his assistant said it would just be a few more days.

Did you get a good price on the job?

Ithink I did, but I dont know what carpeting costs. I did tell him I had my own staples, though, in case that might bring the price down.

Did it?

No.

Email: ervolino@northjersey.com

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Ervolino: Slowly I paint, step by step - NorthJersey.com