Moving Forward, Looking Back: On a bleak Penfield afternoon, tears for Sandy Hook’s Jessica

One day this week, with a snowstorm heading our way, it occurred to me to take a walk on the beach.

Outside, a thick cloud cover blocked out the sun and turned the sky into a featureless, grey void. The temperature hovered around freezing, and raw, misty gusts made it feel colder. It could have been colder, wetter, or windier, but all in all, nature had ordered up a pretty bleak afternoon. Perfect.

I pulled on my boots and my parka, and grabbed my car keys. My wife turned down the invitation to come along, helpfully pointing out that I could skip the sunscreen.

With enough motivation, I will visit natural places during "off-peak" seasons.

The beach, for example, doesn't disappear after Labor Day. Long Island Sound comes ashore year-round, and the life it brings is year-round as well. Many creatures either fly or swim away for the winter, but the others have no choice but to hunker down and tough it out. I wanted to see for myself what was going on down there, knowing, of course, that I had the luxury of going home when I'd had enough.

Not surprisingly, the parking lot at Penfield Beach was deserted. I walked up the ramp alongside Penfield Pavilion, transformed by Superstorm Sandy from a sparkling town facility to a moribund eyesore shrouded in plywood, with chain-link fencing and signs warning me not to trespass.

At the top of the ramp I looked out over the dusky beach to the small but persistent waves breaking on the shore, and beyond to the horizon, where the water and the sky met in a monochromatic, battleship-grey haze.

Not a soul was in sight, and not a single vessel was on the water. My little adventure was off to a dreary start.

But over my right shoulder, a flash of pink and turquoise caught me by surprise. It was my first glimpse of the playground erected in memory of Jessica Rekos, one of the children killed in Newtown a year ago Dec. 14.

In front of the playground -- a construction of ramps, gazebos, and slides -- is a sign with a large photograph of Jessica. Her smiling face and posture exudes intelligence and a relaxed, confident presence. Her hair spills over her shoulders onto her shirt, simply decorated with three daisies along the neckline. There can be no more fetching an image of girlhood. The drab, empty beach was no match for Jessica.

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Moving Forward, Looking Back: On a bleak Penfield afternoon, tears for Sandy Hook's Jessica