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    ‘Good-looking for an Asian’: how I shed white ideals of masculinity – The Guardian

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    For a while, though rarely now as I get older, white women used to tell me I was good-looking for an Asian. I used to believe it myself. Until I moved to Korea when I was 23, visiting for the first time since my adoption at age two, I dated only white women. As an adoptee with white parents, whiteness was the model of desire I knew. For an Asian seemed as desirable as I could get.

    During my childhood, my parents insisted that we were the same as any other family which, because they were white, I took as saying I must be as white as them to be their son. If I were white, I would be accepted became because I must be accepted, I must be white.

    I wasnt able to see myself clearly. I mean this literally. One day, I stood at the mirror and suddenly realized that I was Asian. I cant remember where this thought came from, but it is a realization that is common for transracial adoptees with white parents. I used to wonder what took me so long to see myself. Now I wonder what I saw before that day. A white boy with white skin? Or did I simply assume that the image in the mirror was white, because it was normal and normal was whiteness?

    It wasnt my gaze with which I looked, of course. It was my parents. I saw who they wanted me to see. That is the thing about desire: it comes from the outside. Desire is a story in which you are a character.

    When the film The Big Sick, starring Kumail Nanjiani, came out in 2017, it seemed like progress for Asian American representation yet it received mixed reactions from Asian American critics, especially south Asian American women who wrote about the films stereotypes of brown women. The most difficult sequence to watch is a montage that switches back and forth between shots of Kumail the main character courting a white woman, Emily, and shots of him tossing images of brown women into a cigar box one after the other, each deemed unworthy by comparison.

    Its a striking sequence, making literal Kumails rejection of brown women in exchange for whiteness. The film heavily links Kumails masculinity to the performance of race and sexuality he picks up Emily after she jokes that he might be good in bed and he writes her name in Urdu. He hides his relationship with Emily from his parents, and when he finally tells them about her, he is the one who connects his love for Emily to his nationality. In the face of their disappointment, he demands to know why they immigrated in the first place if they didnt want him to become American, completing his association of Americanness with whiteness.

    As an isolated case, the film would still be problematic, but what really frustrates critics like Tanzila Ahmed and Amil Niazi is how frequently stories about Asian American masculinity rely on sex with a white woman. As early as 1982, scholar Elaine Kim noted this trope in Asian American literature, where the symbol of the white woman indicates an Asian American male character has been accepted into society or not. If the terms of masculinity are white, women of color are excluded.

    But so are all people of color.

    In fact, Kim found that one other group of writers also symbolized white women as access to American masculinity: straight white male writers writing about Asian male characters.

    In other words, the story of how we view Asian American masculinity can be understood as a story about white male insecurity.

    Perhaps some history is necessary. The current stereotype of Asian American men as emasculated, weak, and effeminate can be traced back to white insecurities over the male Chinese labor force during and after the construction of the transcontinental railroad in the late 19th century.

    Chinese railroad workers were both valued and devalued as men. Railroad work was seen as exclusively male, and Chinese men were expected to work more, in more dangerous situations, and take less pay than white counterparts. In addition, it was cheapest to prohibit wives and children from joining them, which also conveniently limited population growth (the 1875 Page Act legalized this prohibition). By 1880, there were 27 Chinese men for every one Chinese woman, and with the railroad completed, the economic value of Chinese masculinity decreased while white fear of Chinese masculinity increased.

    Out of this context, two different stereotypes of Asian American men emerged: emasculation and hypermasculinity (two sides of the same racist, misogynist, homophobic coin).

    The current stereotype of Asian American men as 'emasculated', 'weak', and 'effeminate' can be traced back to white insecurities

    Leading up to the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act, which banned Chinese immigration completely, much of the propaganda depicted Chinese men as out to rape and pillage. Specifically, to rape white women and pillage white mens jobs. White masculinity depended on the sexual and economic possession of white women. By 1907, white masculinitys fear of its own emasculation produced anti-miscegenation laws that promised to revoke citizenship from any white woman who married an Asian American.

    If the hypersexualization of Asian American males was an expression of white male insecurity, their desexualization was an attempt to ease that insecurity.

    Despite depictions of Chinese men as desperate for white women, they were also represented as asexual or homosexual (both considered antithetical to white masculinity). Labor and immigration laws further contributed to the emasculation, as Asian Americans were forced to take any work they could get, namely the work white men didnt want, often service jobs like cooking and laundering. (This is where the stereotype of the Chinese American laundromat comes from.) This work was seen as womens work, and further associated Asian American men with sexual and gender deviance. The effect helped both to address white male anxiety and to establish white heterosexual masculinity (and patriarchy) as the norm.

    Anxiety haunts desire.

    In 2014, Elliot Rodger, half white and half Asian American, killed six people and injured 14 in an act of revenge against white women.

    Its an injustice, he explained in a 100,000-word manifesto, that he was still a virgin, a condition he linked to being Asian American. In a particularly self-hating passage, he writes: Full Asian men are disgustingly ugly and white girls would never go for you Youll never be half white and youll never fulfill your dream of marrying a white woman.

    In his twisted mind, Rodger managed to turn his self-hatred into the beliefs both that he had a right to white womens bodies because he was white and that he was not attractive to white women because he was Asian. Neither of these inventions, notably, are really about Asian American desire at all. These are problems of the limited male imagination. Rodgers was especially problematic.

    In Lacanian psychoanalysis, a persons desire is not self-made but rather is the desire of the other. You experience this phenomenon when you dress as someone else would like you to dress, or when you act in a way you hope will attract the attention of your crush.

    That is the thing about desire: it comes from the outside. Desire is a story in which you are a character

    This theory of desire seems especially useful in explaining the model minority stereotype that Asian Americans find success by working hard and following the rules and why some Asian Americans perform the stereotype so dutifully. To be the model minority is to fulfill the desire of the other. That is, you perform the stereotype because it is the performance that whiteness wants from you. Just as I saw in the mirror what my parents wanted from me.

    What makes the performance so alluring is that you also feel yourself become desirable to yourself. We internalize the others gaze whether the other is our beloved, or society and soon enough the desire seems like our own.

    For straight Asian American men, this means wanting to be wanted in the way white heteronormative men are wanted. If an Asian American man can win the love of a white woman, he thinks, then he might have a claim to America in all its whiteness and straightness and maleness after all.

    Such is the storyline of Adrian Tomines 2007 graphic novel, Shortcomings, about an Asian American man, Ben Tanaka, so obsessed with sleeping with a white woman that his relationship with an Asian American woman goes to hell.

    Ben begins the book as essentially the model minority hes in a relationship with an attractive Asian American woman, he lives comfortably in California, he owns a movie theater and has enough money to drop everything and fly to New York on a whim but he is far from happy. Throughout, he makes snarky jokes at the expense of his own perceived emasculation (such as how small his penis is). He has internalized the white male gaze so completely that he doesnt even need anyone else to put him down; he can do it himself. Like Rodger, he blames his unhappiness on not being able to have sex with a white woman. He doesnt feel masculine enough. He doesnt feel wanted enough.

    If an Asian American man can win the love of a white woman, he thinks, then he might have a claim to America in all its whiteness and straightness and maleness after all

    Tomine is clear that Ben is no hero, that he is his own biggest problem. The tone is critical. Ben doesnt get any happier even after he fulfills his dream of having sex with a white woman, it doesnt make him any more masculine. The dream, and the masculinity, was never his to begin with. The best he can do, in the wreckage of his life, is to see that it has been a wreck for a while. The book ends ambiguously, with Ben in an airplane, flying home, perhaps ready to see himself for the first time.

    Its necessary to link Asian American masculinity to the model minority myth and a hierarchy of racist stereotypes. Deeming Asian Americans the model minority was a divide-and-conquer strategy, to pit Asian Americans against African Americans during the civil rights movement. African American masculinity has long provoked white fear of emasculation. Pitting a desexualized Asian American model minority against the hypermasculine stereotype of Black men marks (yet) another attempt to make Black men responsible for white male fear.

    In the white imagination, Asian American masculinity symbolizes what white men fear about being less masculine than Black males. That is, that societal power may come at the cost of sexual power. The model minority Asian American male might become a doctor or lawyer or engineer, but he cant get the girl.

    This is the imagination with which Kumail courts Emily in The Big Sick. Though he finds some kind of love in the end, its hard not to see in that love the images of all the brown women that he threw aside (and, eventually, burned).

    When I returned to Korea for the first time since my adoption, I met a woman I would love for the rest of her life. I mean, we got married. I also mean, she died young. It was in her desire that I was able to see what for an Asian meant. I had been carrying those three words at the end of every sentence. I had needed them to remind me that someone else was looking. Then I didnt any more.

    Widowed now, I desire in the shadow of desire. When I dress up, my kids ask who Im trying to impress. No one will see you, they say. They wear their pyjamas all day, except on our daily walk. I say I will see myself, but they are not convinced.

    Once, in a bar, a white woman tried to pick me up with the line, Once you go Asian, you never go Caucasian. A bad rhyme, I thought. That was all she saw. So I ran.

    I mean this literally: I opened the door and fled.

    Read more from the original source:
    'Good-looking for an Asian': how I shed white ideals of masculinity - The Guardian

    215-Million-Year-Old Fossil from Greenland Sheds Light on Origin of Mammals | Paleontology – Sci-News.com

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    A new genus and species of mammaliaform that lived during the Triassic period has been identified from a partial jaw with teeth found on the eastern coast of Greenland. It represents the earliest known example of a dentary bone with double molariform roots and a crown with two rows of cusps, and offers insight into mammal tooth evolution, particularly the development of double-rooted teeth.

    An artists impression of Kalaallitkigun jenkinsi. Image credit: Marta Szubert.

    The newly-discovered mammaliaform species was a shrew-like animal about the size of a large mouse, probably covered with fur.

    Named Kalaallitkigun jenkinsi, it lived during the Late Triassic epoch, around 215 million years ago.

    Its partial left dentary, with two teeth still preserved in their respective alveoli, was found at the Liasryggen site located on the left bank of the Carlsberg Fjord, Jameson Land, East Greenland.

    I knew it was important from the moment I took this 2 cm (0.8 inches) specimen off the ground, said Dr. Grzegorz Niedzwiedzki, a paleontologist in the Department of Organismal Biology in the Evolutionary Biology Centre at Uppsala University.

    Kalaallitkigun jenkinsi exhibits the earliest known dentary with two rows of cusps on molars and double-rooted teeth.

    These anatomical features place it as an intermediate between the mammals and the insectivorous morganucodontans, another type of mammaliaform.

    Digital rendering of the holotype left dentary of Kalaallitkigun jenkinsi from the mid-to-late Norian of the Fleming Fjord Formation, East Greenland: (A) the life position of the preserved part of the dentary; (B-D) the dentary in labial (B), lingual (C), and occlusal (D) views; (E-G) the only preserved premolariform in labial (E), lingual (F), and occlusal (G) views; (H-J) the only preserved molariform (m2) in lingual (H), labial (I), and occlusal (J) views. M1-3 mark the position of molariforms (2 is double rooted); pm1-4 mark the position of the premolariforms (1 is single, 2 is double rooted); c marks the position of the canine; (A, G, and B) 1-b4 indicate cusp assignments in the molariform. Abbreviations: ang. reg. angular region, cre. crest, premolar. premolariform, molar. molariform, cor. pr. coronoid process, cor. fos. coronoid fossa, M. tempo. fos. M. temporalis fossa, V3 no. V3 notch for the mandibular nerve entering the mandibular canal, Mec. sul. Meckels sulcus, mand. ca. for. mandibular canal foramen, mas. fos. masseteric fossa, lat. rid. lateral ridge, postd. tr. postdentary trough, med. rid. medial ridge, and sym. symphysis. Image credit: Sulej et al., doi: 10.1073/pnas.2012437117.

    The structural changes in the teeth are related to changed feeding habits, the researchers said.

    The animals were switching to a more omnivorous/herbivorous diet and the tooth crown was expanding laterally.

    Broader teeth with basins on the top surface are better for grinding food. This development also forced changes in the structure of the base of the tooth.

    Our discovery of the oldest mammalian ancestor with double-rooted molars shows how important the role of teeth was in the origin of mammals, said Dr. Tomasz Sulej, a researcher in the Institute of Paleobiology at the Polish Academy of Sciences.

    I had this idea to look at the biomechanics and the collaboration with the engineers turned out great.

    It seems that the fossils of close mammalian ancestors must be looked for in even older rocks.

    The discovery is reported in a paper in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

    _____

    Tomasz Sulej et al. The earliest-known mammaliaform fossil from Greenland sheds light on origin of mammals. PNAS, published online October 12, 2020; doi: 10.1073/pnas.2012437117

    Read more:
    215-Million-Year-Old Fossil from Greenland Sheds Light on Origin of Mammals | Paleontology - Sci-News.com

    Are employers using the pandemic as cover to shed older workers? – MarketWatch

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    The labor market has never been easy for older Americans, and now there is fresh evidence that the COVID-19 crisis is making it even worse.

    A new report by the Retirement Equity Lab, part of the Schwartz Center for Economic Policy Analysis at New York City-based The New School, says that unemployment rates for workers 55 and older has topped those of mid-career workers for the entire length of the pandemic. Its the first time since 1973 that such a gap has existed for six months or longer.

    Read: Older workers are working from home more successfully than their younger colleagues

    This recession is a lot deeper than 2008, notes labor economist Teresa Ghilarducci, director of the Schwartz Center, and employers are not preserving the skills and experience that older workers have like they have in past downturns. It looks like theyre being let go first, and employers are shying away from re-hiring them.

    She points to data showing that since the pandemic began earlier this year, older workers have lost jobs at a faster rate, but have been re-hired at a slower one. The trend has created an unemployment gap of 1.1 percentage points between older workers six-month average unemployment rate of 9.7% and mid-career workers rate of 8.6%. The trend is more pronounced among older workers who are black, female, or lack a college degree.

    Read: This retirement benefit would go far if employers offered it, that is

    Older workers have always been something of a tradeoff for employers. They typically bring more experience and job stability to the table than younger workers, who are more prone to change jobs more often. But older workers generally earn more and are more prone to health issues, something that has become more evident during the pandemic.

    It may have exposed just how expensive older workers are to employers in terms of health care costs, Ghilarducci says. It also might be a once-in-a-lifetime chance for employers to shed older workers, because the Trump administration is not enforcing age-discrimination laws. Administration officials did not respond to requests to comment.

    She says during the so-called Great Recession, which extended from the latter stage of George W. Bushs presidency to the early stage of Barack Obamas, such laws were enforced more vigorously.

    All of this is further threatening retirement security for older Americans in or approaching retirement age, many of whom were of modest meansor worseto begin with. These sobering statistics from the Social Security Administration are worth repeating.

    Social Security benefits are about 33% of all elderly income.

    Among elderly Social Security beneficiaries, 50% of married couples and 70% of unmarried persons receive 50% or more of their income from Social Security.

    Among elderly Social Security beneficiaries, 21% of married couples and about 45% of unmarried persons rely on Social Security for 90% or more of their income.

    Meager as Social Security isthe average monthly check in 2021 will be $1,522, after a 1.3% cost-of-living adjustment was announced last weekat least its something that anyone over age 62 who has lost work is eligible for.

    More problematic is older Americans who have lost jobs but havent reached 62the minimum Social Security ageyet. Advocates for older Americans like Ghilarducci say Congress should not only increase but extend unemployment benefits and also lower the Medicare eligibility age to 50.

    When the pandemic first swept across the country earlier this year, some 22 million jobs were lost during the ensuing economic meltdown. Economists estimate that only about half of those jobs have been restored. But with winter approaching and the pandemic showing new signs of life, a new surge of cases appears to have taken hold in much of the country. There are fears that any economic recovery could be modest.

    Ghilarducci offers some challenging advice for older citizens seeking work, starting with the realization that they might have to go into a totally new industry or occupation. Easier said than done.

    They really should be much more flexible about the kind of jobs they would take, she says, and change their ideas about what kind of work they can do. Men may want to take jobs that older women are usually concentrated in, like care work, for example. Men in nursing homes are a real premium.

    Her advice for woman is bleaker:

    Older women usually have a harder time going into mens occupations, so thats out, she says bluntly. Older women may have to lower their expectations about what kind of jobs they can get, and be flexible. But its important that they stay in the labor force if they can.

    Continued here:
    Are employers using the pandemic as cover to shed older workers? - MarketWatch

    Neighbour suffers burns trying to put out shed fire – CTV Toronto

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    KITCHENER -- A man who tried to help extinguish a fire in a neighbour's shed is now recovering from burns.

    The fire started in a Kitchener backyard on Karn Street near Westmount Road on Thursday afternoon. It damaged a shed and part of a fence.

    Grant Fairley, who lives next door, said he saw flames and ran out to try to put out the blaze. He also alerted the homeowners so they could get out safely.

    Videos from witnesses showed flames and black smoke in air from the fire. They also said there was a loud bang before the fire began.

    Fairley said he tried to use a fire extinguisher to stop the fire before it spread.

    "The whole shed was engulfed already, it was all gone," he told CTV News. "By the time I got out, the shed was burned down."

    Fairley said he suffered burns on his arms. His son alerted other neighbours so they could get to safety.

    "I'm just glad everyone's OK," said Callahan Stewart, who witnessed the fire. "I'm really thankful it was put out fast and everyone's safe, which is the most important thing."

    There were no other injuries.

    Police are investigating the cause of the fire, but say they don't believe it is suspicious.

    Read more from the original source:
    Neighbour suffers burns trying to put out shed fire - CTV Toronto

    Papers shed light on early years of ‘Old Ironsides,’ Navy – telegraphherald.com

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    The USS Constitution Museum has acquired more than 150 documents, including correspondence from President George Washingtons secretary of war and the leader of the Haitian Revolution, that shed light on the warships early years and the young United States first international conflict.

    The collection acquired at auction had been in private hands for more than 225 years and were unveiled during a celebration of the ships 223rd birthday earlier this week.

    I have been looking for collections for this museum for over 30 years and have never seen anything like it, museum President and CEO Anne Grimes Rand said in a statement. The USS Constitution Museum is actively pursuing its mission in tough times by acquiring these documents that shed light on previously unknown aspects of the construction, outfitting and first movements of USS Constitution.

    The cost of the documents was not disclosed, but they were paid for by a group of museum supporters known as the Commodores, she said.

    We rallied them and we were able to bid aggressively and we landed the collection, she said.

    The museum is the nonprofit that preserves the history of the ship known as Old Ironsides, which is an active-duty U.S. Navy vessel berthed in the citys Charlestown neighborhood.

    The USS Constitution is the worlds oldest commissioned warship afloat. It was undefeated in battle and earned its nickname during the War of 1812, when British cannonballs bounced off its wooden hull.

    The papers cover several topics, including the construction of the U.S. Navys first six frigates, which include the Constitution, and strategic plans for the undeclared Quasi-War with France from 1798 until 1800.

    The collection belonged to Capt. James Sever, first commander of USS Congress, another frigate constructed at the same time as Constitution. It had been in his family since.

    Sever supervised construction of Congress and was deployed with the ship to the Caribbean to protect U.S. merchant ships from French privateers. Old Ironsides served alongside Congress in the conflict.

    The collection includes handwritten correspondence and papers from the Constitutions commander, Capt. Silas Talbot; Henry Knox, secretary of war under Washington, who oversaw the appropriations for the construction of the Constitution and its sister frigates; and Toussaint Louverture, the formerly enslaved leader of the Haitian Revolution, who corresponded with U.S. Navy commanders about U.S. support of his government.

    The documents will be archived at the museum and shared publicly via email newsletters and social media posts at first. They also will be digitized and made available on the museums website.

    This is the best birthday present for the ship and museum we could have imagined, Rand said.

    More:
    Papers shed light on early years of 'Old Ironsides,' Navy - telegraphherald.com

    COVID-19: New Studies Shed Light On Connection Between Reopening Schools, Virus Cases – Daily Voice

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    Despite a recent rise in COVID-19 cases across the nation in the past two months, there may not be as large a correlation between the new cases and schools reopening in the fall, according to newly released studies.

    International researchers found that there is no consistent relationship between the spread of the virus and the opening of in-person K-12 learning in a pair of newly released studies.

    According to NPR, a third study in the United States also found that there is no elevated risk of contracting COVID-19 for childcare workers who returned to the classroom.

    The report found that there could potentially be more of a risk to children, mentally and physically, by keeping schools closed.

    One doctor cited in the report found that there has been an uptick in mental health problems,hunger, obesity due to inactivity, missing routine medical care, and the risk of child abuse, as well as the loss of proper education.

    In a Brown University study of approximately 227,000 children in all 50 states, the infection rate was at approximately 0.14 percent among students and 0.25 percent among staff members. In high-risk areas of the U.S., the student rates were under 0.5 percent.

    I hope that more schools and districts will see these data, and others, and perhaps start to think about how reopening might work. We do not want to be cavalier or put people at risk. But by not opening, we are putting people at risk, too, Brown University economist Emily Ostertold The Atlantic.

    There have been no reported COVID-19 outbreaks in reopened schools, though some have been forced to temporarily transition away from hybrid or in-person learning and back to remote education as a precaution due to positive cases.

    "Children under the age of 10 generally are at quite a low risk of acquiring a symptomatic disease, Dr. Rainu Kaushal of Weill Cornell Medicine said in the report. And theyrarely transmit it either. It's a happy coincidence that the youngest children face lower risk and are also the ones who have the hardest time with virtual learning.

    Another researcher added, I would like to see the students, especially the younger students, get back. I feel more encouraged that that can happen in a safe and thoughtful way.

    Click here to sign up for Daily Voice's free daily emails and news alerts.

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    COVID-19: New Studies Shed Light On Connection Between Reopening Schools, Virus Cases - Daily Voice

    Museum to unveil papers that shed light on early years of ‘Old Ironsides,’ Navy – NavyTimes.com

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    The U.S.S. Constitution Museum has acquired more than 150 documents, including correspondence from President George Washingtons secretary of war and the leader of the Haitian Revolution, that shed light on the warships early years and the young United States' first international conflict.

    The collection acquired at auction had been in private hands for more than 225 years and will be unveiled during a Facebook Live celebration of the ships 223rd birthday Wednesday.

    It is the largest acquisition the Boston-based U.S.S. Constitution Museum has made in nearly a decade.

    I have been looking for collections for this museum for over 30 years and have never seen anything like it, museum President and CEO Anne Grimes Rand said in a statement. The U.S.S. Constitution Museum is actively pursuing its mission in tough times by acquiring these documents that shed light on previously unknown aspects of the construction, outfitting, and first movements of U.S.S. Constitution.

    The cost of the documents was not disclosed, but they were paid for by a group of museum supporters known as the Commodores, she said.

    We rallied them and we were able to bid aggressively and we landed the collection, she said.

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    The museum is the nonprofit that preserves the history of the ship known as Old Ironsides, which is still an active-duty U.S. Navy vessel berthed in the citys Charlestown neighborhood.

    The U.S.S Constitution is the worlds oldest commissioned warship afloat. It was undefeated in battle and earned its nickname during the War of 1812, when British cannonballs bounced off its wooden hull.

    The papers cover several topics, including the construction of the U.S. Navys first six frigates, which include the Constitution, and strategic plans for the undeclared Quasi-War with France from 1798 until 1800.

    The collection belonged to Capt. James Sever, first commander of U.S.S. Congress, another frigate constructed at the same time as Constitution. It had been in his family ever since.

    Sever supervised construction of Congress and was deployed with the ship to the Caribbean to protect U.S. merchant ships from French privateers. Old Ironsides served alongside Congress in the conflict.

    The collection includes handwritten correspondence and papers from the Constitutions commander, Capt. Silas Talbot; Henry Knox, secretary of war under Washington, who oversaw the appropriations for the construction of the Constitution and its sister frigates; and Toussaint Louverture, the formerly enslaved leader of the Haitian Revolution, who corresponded with U.S. Navy commanders about U.S. support of his government.

    The documents will be archived at the museum and shared publicly via email newsletters and social media posts at first. They will also be digitized and made available on the museums website.

    This is the best birthday present for the ship and museum we could have imagined, Rand said.

    Read more from the original source:
    Museum to unveil papers that shed light on early years of 'Old Ironsides,' Navy - NavyTimes.com

    Kristin Cavallari Sheds Light on Dating After Divorce, Her Relationship With Lauren Conrad and More – Us Weekly

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    Getting real. Kristin Cavallari has never been one to hold back, and thats not about to change anytime soon. The Denver native, 33, opened up in a new interview while promoting her latest cookbook and talked about everything from her high school feuds to her recent divorce from Jay Cutler.

    Its interesting because whenever someones announcing theyre getting a divorce, like, we didnt make that decision last night and then all of a sudden put it out there, she recalled on the Monday, October 19, episode of Bleav Podcast Networks On the List podcast with Brett Gursky. It had been coming for a long time. And so by that point, it was almost, like, a sense of relief I was just relieved to get it out there and start this next phase of my life. But its still very sad and very up and down.

    Cavallari and Cutler, who married in 2013, announced they were divorcing in April. They share three children, Camden, 8, Jaxon, 6, and Saylor, 4.

    Its been a roller-coaster. I mean, its sad when you close a chapter of your life, and Jay and I were together for 10 years and we have three kids together, the Uncommon James founder said. I will always love Jay in some capacity and so its tough.

    Now, the True Comfort author is living in Nashville and is focused on being a mom, running a business and being happy. Although she was recently spotted kissing comedian Jeff Dye, that doesnt mean shes going to be entering anything serious anytime soon.

    My kids will always be first, but beyond my kids, Im making myself a priority right now. I dont want anything Im not ready to jump into a relationship, Im not, Cavallari shared about whether she will begin dating anytime soon. Im taking care of me and Im figuring out ultimately what Im going to want in life, and Im going through the motions and the process of figuring that all out.

    Scroll through the gallery below for more revelations from the new episode.

    More:
    Kristin Cavallari Sheds Light on Dating After Divorce, Her Relationship With Lauren Conrad and More - Us Weekly

    ‘What were you wearing?’: VSU, Haven shed light on sexual assault – Valdosta Daily Times

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    VALDOSTA Blue pajamas. I wasnt feeling well and he came over to take care of me. I trusted him and he raped me.

    Leggings and a hairband. They matched. He liked the leggings. Told me they looked good on me. I felt so honored to have his attention. Except he was not the nice guy I thought he was. It all happened so fast. I was so scared.

    My prom dress. Dont know if that needs much more explanation

    These messages and several others hang alongside articles of clothing matching the descriptions, lining Valdosta State Universitys walkway, serving as a chilling reminder of the ongoing battle against sexual assault.

    The project is called What were you wearing? Survivor Art Installation.

    Signs along the walkway explain this installation provides a tangible response to one of our cultures most pervasive rape myths.

    A partnership with The Haven Battered Womens Shelter and Sexual Assault Clinic and VSU, the project displays anonymous, recreated stories from student survivors.

    The display is just one part of what the university is doing throughout the month of October, which is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

    We are offering support and promoting awareness around domestic violence, saidRebecca Murphy,VSU associate director for health promotions and wellness. We want to help people understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

    She alongside other VSU staff stood in the universitys pedestrian walkway giving out informative literature and purple ribbons the ribbon chosen as a representation of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

    The Haven was on campus to provide information about its programs and support groups. The nonprofit organization serves Lowndes, Brooks, Colquitt, Echols, Berrien, Cook, Lanier, Clinch and Atkinson counties.

    Its a two-fold organization that has two emergency facilities: the Battered Womens Shelter for victims of family violence and the Rape Crisis Center for victims of sexual assault.

    Ashley Rhys, licensed marriage and family therapist for The Haven, explained domestic violence affects everyone, regardless of race, age or financial standing.

    Its so important because theres a lot of students that are in abusive and toxic relationships, Rhys said. A lot of kids dont know this is here for them.

    The Haven is more than just a refuge: it provides everything from exams to legal services along with free and confidential support groups.

    The two groups are the Sexual Assault Support Group, where survivors come together to motivate and encourage each other, and the Circle of Healing Support Group, which allows healing, support and motivation for domestic violence survivors. Both are currently meeting via Zoom.

    The Sexual Assault Support Group will meet 5 p.m., Nov. 18, and Dec. 23, with Zoom link 825 0387 1990. Circle of Healing will meet 6 p.m., Nov. 24, and Dec. 23 with Zoom link 831 0296 0811.

    Additional information on any of these services can be found online at valdostahaven.org. Crisis lines are (229) 244-1765 and (800) 33HAVEN.

    We are making critical coverage of the coronavirus available for free. Please consider subscribing so we can continue to bring you the latest news and information on this developing story.

    Go here to read the rest:
    'What were you wearing?': VSU, Haven shed light on sexual assault - Valdosta Daily Times

    Fire in parked AC train in a car shed in Mumbai, investigation ordered – Hindustan Times

    - October 23, 2020 by Mr HomeBuilder

    A fire broke out in the power coach of an air-conditioned (AC) local train in Mumbai on Thursday night. The incident occurred at 1.40 am in Mahalaxmi railway car-shed. No passenger or railway staff suffered any injuries, said officials.

    The railway authorities and fire brigade doused the fire by 3.10 am on Friday morning.

    The control wiring of the shunting desk and the electronic cabinet got burnt in the fire. There was no damage in any passenger area, said a senior railway official.

    Short circuit is suspected to be the reason according to railway officials. The Western Railway has ordered an investigation. It added that the incident will have no repercussions on the local train services.

    Also Read: 12 hours on, 250 Mumbai firefighters struggle to put out blaze at city mall

    The reason for the fire will be investigated. There will be no repercussions on AC train services. said Sumit Thakur, chief public relation officer, Western Railway

    Read the original here:
    Fire in parked AC train in a car shed in Mumbai, investigation ordered - Hindustan Times

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