Jared 'Hefty Lefty' Lorenzen ready for Cardinals QB job (once he sheds some weight)

Updated DEC 13, 2014 5:36a ET

Jared "Hefty Lefty" Lorenzen is here (on Twitter) to assuage all your quarterback fears, Arizona Cardinals fans.

After Carson Palmer's replacement Drew Stanton went down Thursday night against the Rams and third-stringer Ryan Lindley took over (while also giving away Bibles online), the former New York Giants QB sneak specialist pitched his services:

Hey, the Twitter pitch worked for former Cardinals kicker Jay Feely, who was on his couch early in the season and is now suited up for the Chicago Bears.

Lorenzen earned a Super Bowl ring as a member of the Giants in 2007-08 when he served as Eli Manning's backup. The former University of Kentucky standout was last seen slinging footballs in a ridiculous Monster Energy-colored, green scaly uniform for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters, highlights of which you can see below. His reported weight around that time was 320 pounds.

Fortunately Stanton won't need surgery but he's doubtful, at best, for Sunday against Seattle. If the Lefty hit the treadmill around 11 p.m. last night, he ought to be able to sneak under 300 for gametime next Sunday in Week 16.

[H/T Eye on Football]

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Jared 'Hefty Lefty' Lorenzen ready for Cardinals QB job (once he sheds some weight)