Homeless in Monroe: The man on the bench – Monroe Evening News

This is part of a special report by The Monroe News on the issue of homelessness in Monroe County.

To Kyle and Adeana Buckley, a married couple living in Monroe, he is simply Uncle Joe. But to many others in Monroe, he's known as the Man on the Bench.

Thats the name often volleyed at Joe Gentile, a 58-year-old man whos experienced homelessness on and off for the last 10 years.

He often could be seen around the city and neighboring municipalities, his signature cart carrying his possessions not far behind.

Joe, like many experiencing homelessness, suffers from schizophrenia, a disorder that affects an individuals ability to think, behave and feel clearly. He also struggles to verbalize his thoughts and feelings sometimes, an added burden caused by his illness.

But his disorder and situation didnt deter the Buckleys from taking an interest in the man nor did it keep them from helping him, whether it be a ride to the market or giving him water when hes thirsty.

As they got know Joe, they realized he was a person in need of compassion and help, which they were willing to give. They recently helmed a fundraising campaign, drawing more than $3,500 to help get Joes life on track.

For so long I really did pray that something would change and he would get help, Kyle said. Sometimes you just have to be the change.

MEETING JOE GENTILE

Kyle introduced himself to Joe about two years ago. Kyle, who works in the lawn-care industry, was coming home from a job when he noticed Joe sitting on the bench near the former Kmart store at Stewart Rd. and N. Monroe St. He had seen Joe throughout the community many times before but had never actually spoken to him.

It was midsummer and the temperature was stifling. Kyle had several cold waters left over from work and decided to offer some to Joe. He approached Joe, who was bundled up in his standard outfit of a coat and sweatpants, and started talking with him.

Hes continued those conversation ever since. Kyle kept talking with Joe, sitting down wherever he came across the man and the cart with which he never parts.

I would let him know Im not there for anything else other than to get to know who you are, Kyle said.

If it was raining or cold out, hed ask Joe if there was somewhere he could take him. Kyle learned that Joe often stayed under bridges or viaducts throughout Monroe.

For the longest time, he would just say, I just need somewhere warm to stay, he said.

Heartbroken, there was little Kyle could do. He and Adeana, a nurse, have four kids and a grandson, so their space at home was limited. Theyd also seen how others had treated Joe.

It wasnt uncommon for people to throw food at him or become angry when he didnt accept what they offered Joe doesnt eat fast food. Sometimes people would initiate confrontations with him, uncaring or not understanding that Joe battled mental illness. He also was the common target of criticism on social media where people would post demeaning things about him, Kyle says.

This is a human being, Kyle said. If (those people) are in a position like this one day, I hope society doesnt treat them (the way they treated Joe).

The breaking point came in September when Kyle came across Joe a day after rain had drenched the region. It had been cold overnight and Joe was huddled on one of his favorite haunts: the bench in front of Key Bank on N. Telegraph Rd.

Kyle approached him, intent on once again giving him water. But Joe was shivering and wet and Kyle couldnt bear it any longer.

(Joe) just looked at me and said, Im cold and wet, Kyle said. And that was a defining point in my heart.

He talked to Joe a little bit and then left, calling Adeana on his way home. In their hearts, both knew something had to be done.

They went and picked up Joe and took him to a local motel. Using their own money, they put him up for the night, unsure of what the future held for the man.

If nothing else, he could at least spend a night in a warm place, Adeana said.

And he hasnt been back to the bench since that day, she said.

THE GAMEPLAN

The battle would be to find Joe long-term housing and to come up with a strategy. Kyle and Adeana launched a GoFundMe account the day they took him to the hotel, explaining Joes situation and what they were aiming to do.

With winter coming, they at least wanted to find a way to keep Joe warm for the season. Part of his illness is that he doesnt handle crowds well and feels unsafe, triggering outbursts or episodes of anger. Shelters werent a long-term option, though in moments of desperation he had visited them.

We told him were not going to take you anywhere you dont want to go, Kyle said.

The couple sought to raise funds to keep Joe in a room until they could locate an apartment or housing option for him. They couldnt afford the venture on their own but thought maybe the community would step up and help out.

The response was overwhelming. The page was inundated with donations from area residents, many stating they wanted to help Joe for years but didnt know how to do it.

Monroe has really stepped up to help him, Adeana said.

The couple endeavored to help Joe navigate the complex system of aid available to him. He had run-ins with various agencies in the past and many held a negative opinion him, Kyle said.

That wasnt the only barrier. Because Joe was lodged in a motel temporarily, many agencies claimed he wasnt technically homeless. Some even suggested that the only way to ensure Joe receive aid would be to take him back to the bench.

Incredulous, Kyle refused to bow to such a bureaucratic demand. Many of the benches Joe slept on were removed shortly after he began staying at the motel. Kyle pushed ahead and helped Joe complete a mountain of paperwork to receive aid.

From day one, we said we dont care what it takes hes not going back to bench, Adeana said.

BATTLING HIS DEMONS

Talking about his past is a trigger for Joe, Kyle said, adding he sometimes goes to places of darkness and sadness when he reflects on his life. Those bouts consist of rants and angry words, but theyve lessened in recent months. He said he often redirects Joe towards happier, simpler things made of light instead of letting Joe fixate on the darkness of his inner demons.

He feels as if there is a negative spirit out to get him, Kyle said. I just bring light and he relates to it well. He doesnt even think in the same through patterns anymore.

Joe has become a permanent fixture in Kyle and Adeanas life and family, visiting for meals and keeping in contact several times a week. He even has plans to spend the holidays with the family.

Hes warm, hes fed, hes got friends and family now, Adeana said. Hes so much better now.

Getting to know Joe has shown how wrong people in Monroe were about the man, said Adeana. Underneath the gruff exterior and the layers of stereotypes foisted on him is a kind, sweet person, she added. He loves music and enjoys listening to station AM 500. Hes also intelligent and appreciative of the help he receives, said Kyle.

He enjoys grocery shopping, Kyle added, saying he reads labels and has an understanding of what's healthy and the dangers of poor nutrition. The family often takes him to the market.

Theres also a self-awareness of his mental health issues, according to Adeana. Although hes not in counseling, he understands when an episode may be imminent. Hes even started taking medication for his issues.

He knows (when) hes feeling symptomatic, Adeana said. He recognizes he may need something to get out of this.

A PLACE TO CALL HOME

Today, Joe moves into an apartment in Monroe. Its a touching moment for him and the Buckley family, especially considering the journey it took to get to this point, the couple said.

All the stigma that has been placed on him has been wrong, Adeana said. Our approach as been different weve been patient and willing to get to know him.

On the other hand, Joe is happy to have a place to call his own again. He plans to spend the day making sure everything works. Oaks of Righteousness is donating the furniture for the apartment.

I really appreciate everyones help, Joe said. Im excited its better than being on the street. I was on the street all last winter.

The Buckleys will continue to support Joe and help him navigate life. Hes part of the family now, they say, adding the GoFundMe has been reframed to focus on Joes daily needs rather than the emergent situation of shelter.

They plan to reach out and help more homeless people. Joes story touched them and they want to be able to keep doing good for others.

Its an idea the community can embrace as a whole, Kyle said, adding that there is much wealth among those living in the county and its churches. For those where money is an issue, there's always the ability to the give time, a comforting hand or just an ear, he said.

There are always ways to support a cause, Kyle said. Anyone who can help, in any way, thats what we need.

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Homeless in Monroe: The man on the bench - Monroe Evening News